Secret Confessions Of A Nitpicking Parent

Before I confess to the depraved removal of head lice, let’s start with a disclaimer. The entire act was provoked. I have paid penance in the worst karmic way. Managing work and kids can be tough sometimes. My boss was demanding for a report submission. I sat on my desk scratching my head for new ideas, when I got the most unwanted call from my kid’s day care. The woman was  oddly cryptic (now I know why), yet extremely polite, as she informed me, that my five-year-old has lice. Suddenly, the scratch on my head became very real. In moments like these, you question the immense responsibility that comes along as soon as you become a parent. The society prepares you for gross diapers and projectile vomit, but it fails to mention the pest control requirement. After getting glared at by my boss, I went to pick my son. As I drove down Winter Park, my son in the back seat, I recalled the creepy suppressed memories of my childhood. I have never been a fan of creepy crawlies, and embarking on lice genocide was certainly not on my list. I had to go back to work and take the rest of the day off to deal with the parasites. But I bumped into my boss in the parking lot. Some people have cringe worthy views on mothers and working women. Well, my boss was one of them. Upon seeing me, he began his rant on how I was slacking and used words like nonproductivity and pay cuts. I was having a bad day and my boss just steered the direction toward complete melt down. I survived the entire lecture with patience. But I was not a saint. I got my son out of the car and physically forced my boss to hold him as I ran up to grab a few files. I prayed to God that he got infested too (not a proud moment for me, I admit). While taking my son back, I made sure I flicked his hair in my boss’s direction. Deep inside, I knew it was an immoral act but when I saw him furiously scratching his head the other day, my conscience was put to sleep. I got few good laughs out of the experience, but nature played its role as few days later, my son’s lice reappeared. So, with great hope, I called Lice Troopers Winter Park for at home cleaning and a proper house inspection. They came. They saw. And they conquered my doubts and fears! Kudos to those guys!